The Crimson Coyote

Conversations about mending personal + cultural wounds through creativity

Recording CC01

Last night, I recorded an overview of my health journey at Dream Machine Recording Co. for Episode 01 of The Crimson Coyote podcast.

For most of my life, I taught myself to hide what I was going through and what I had been through, because I felt a great deal of shame around being unable to function like most. As I work to collect transformative stories from my fellow creatives, I thought it was important to kickstart the project with my own path. I also hope that sharing my story will help others who may be suffering in silence to be less afraid to reach out.

Stay tuned to learn more about my experience with invisible illness, and how creativity has helped me persevere.

A Peek into Friedrichshain Cafés

These are some of the lovely cafe’s I came across during a saunter through the Friedrichshain neighborhood in Berlin, Germany.

Bird cage seating for one? :O
Love everything about this: the imperfect wall combined with the black table, the antique mirror with the little botany illustration next to it, and the exposed brick.
This is Louise Chérie Café, a little French cafe’ where I had a pear tart. The owner was such a dear to me, and she made me feel so welcome when I was starting to become lonely on my solo travels. I was grateful for her company and hospitality!

Many of the interiors and exteriors of Europe look unfinished and patchy (it’s so old!), and I love that. You might find mixed and matched furniture, peeling wallpaper, creaky wood, and unique objets d’art. If I’m being honest, most modern architecture and decor in America sort of… repulses me (unless it’s extremely futuristic, like the houses of Palm Springs!) These spaces were a treat.

A Historical Walk in Berlin

As a Jewish woman, it was very important to me to visit some of the historical sites in Berlin. Still, I couldn’t quite process the acts of barbarity that took place there, even when I was there; it was too much to digest cognitively. I did feel the presence of souls-taken-too soon as I rode from Czechia into Germany, however. It was a powerful experience.

I decided to go on an Airbnb walking tour with Jack, a mightily knowledgable man from London. He was well-versed in German history and shared notable stories.

Here are some places I visited:

Bode Museum on Museum Island
The Alte Nationalgalerie
Berlin Cathedral
Bebelplatz, where a Nazi book-burning ceremony took place. A line from Heinrich Hein’s play, Almansor, is engraved on a plaque in the square; it translates in English to “That was only a prelude; where they burn books, they will in the end also burn people”.
Brandenburger Tor is considered both a symbol of Europe’s volatile history, and also European unity and peace.
Reichstag: the beginning of the end, where Hitler’s enabling act was passed. This began the removal of rights.
Tiergarten
Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe
As you start literally going down hill, the the pillars grow and you begin to feel lost and suffocated. There are many interpretations of this installation, including forced segregation, isolation, loss of identity, and the rise and fall of the Third Reich.
Designed by architect Peter Eisenman and engineer Buro Happold, the slabs are designed to produce an uneasy, confusing atmosphere, and the whole sculpture aims to represent an “ordered system” that has lost touch with human reason.
This site is where Hitler’s bunker and office were located. It is now apartments and a children’s playground. So creepy.
This used to be the Nazi Air Force location.
Berlin Wall
SS guard site
Anhalter Bahnhof was a railway terminus. It functioned as a Holocaust deportation station, and from 1942-1945, around 9600 elderly jews were transported from Berlin to their deaths in the ghettos and extermination camps in Eastern Europe.
All that remains of Anhalter Bahnhof today

2019 Records of the Year

So much fantastic music was released this year! These are my favorite records of 2019 (in no particular order):

French Vanilla- How Am I Not Myself
Drab Majesty- Modern Mirror
Be Forest- Knocturne
DIIV- Deceiver
Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds- Ghostseen
FKA Twigs- Magdalene
Weyes Blood- Titanic Rising
Lacing- Without
Chelsea Wolfe- Birth of Violence
Blankenberge- More
Capitol- Dream Noise
Life on Venus- Odes to the Void
Angel Olsen- Mirrors
Star Horse- You Said Forever
Soft Blue Shimmer- Nothing Happens Here
Blushing- Blushing
Bodywash- Comforter
Hibou- Halve
Eternal Something- Realm Zone
Bedroom Eyes- Nerves
Vivian Girls- Memory
Pocket of Lollipops- Be My Non-Friend Friend
Bat for Lashes- Lost Girls
Marissa Nadler/Stephen Brodsky- Droneflower
Moving Panormas- In Two
She Sir- Ways a Season 
Dottie- Part
Alcest- Spiritual Instinct
Winter- Infinite Summer
Chasms- The Mirage
Newmoon- Nothing Hurts Forever
No Vacation- Phasing
Ladytron- Ladytron
Tamaryn- Dreaming in the Dark
Keel Her- With Kindness
Billie Eilish- When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?
Lana Del Rey- Norman Fucking Rockwell!
Fatamorgana- Terra Alta
Ritual Howls- Rendered Armor
Second Still- Violet Phase
SKEMER- Benevolence
Wires & Lights- A Chasm Here and Now
Black Marble- Bigger than life
WINGTIPS- Exposure Therapy
She Past Away- Disko Anksiyete
Secret Shame- Dark Synthetics
Body of Light- Time to Kill
Cold Showers- Motionless
Chasms- The Mirage
Purple Mountains- Purple Mountains
Jessica Pratt- Quiet Signs
Cate le Bon- Reward
Bill Callahan- Shepherd in a Sheepskin Vest
Shana Cleveland- Night of the Worm Moon
Mac DeMarco- Here Comes the Cowboy
Brion Starr- Global Identity 
Simrit- When We Return
Raveena- Lucid
Aarktica- Mareación
Priests- The Seduction of Canvas
Steve Roach- Trance Archaeology

Here’s a playlist for you!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3xYT5JMKbYz4E3UbHulzwT?si=zuSR4IPjQxSgdWAaiD0waw

My favorite single of the year is Riki: Napolean; it’s dark synth-pop at its best and most authentic! The video features one of my closest friends, Daniel (of the band The Vigils), swaying and sweating in a cowboy hat.

Café Cinema

Berlin is home to numerous distinct courtyards. Hackescher Markt is a square located near Schwarzenberg House, which is a truly special courtyard in the city.

Café Cinema sits at the entrance of the courtyard on Rosenthaler Straße. It has a long history of bohemian rendezvouses: filmmakers, artists, and locals have gathered there over the years. The walls are covered in graffiti and artwork, and it’s a great meeting place.

New York and Florida Adventures

I know, I know: I haven’t posted lately. I’ve been so busy, I’ve barely had time to think!

First, I was in New York City for a little while, visiting close friends, family, and wandering the downtown streets like a proper lost soul. I was craving some exposure to chilly weather, and I missed seeing my breath in the air. New York will always be my home as I was born there, lived there for many years, and both sides of my family immigrated there from Europe. There is no heartbeat quite like it.

I also took some photos with a photographer I love, Muhstee, who documents the NYC underground. I knew he’d be able to capture the degenerate side of my personality 😉

I stayed with one of my close friends, Duane, in Bushwick for part of my stay, and we finally got around to visiting Tea and Sympathy in the West Village for their afternoon tea. A tiered tea service is one of my most cherished earthly delights! Clotted cream, yum!

I also started a new gig as an Art Guide/Archivist at Beth Rudin DeWoody’s private artspace, The Bunker, in Palm Beach, FL. We have rotating exhibitions and viewable storage of Beth’s unparalleled collection (nearing 10k pieces), which features contemporary art by both well-known and emerging artists. It’s pretty special to be able to go to work surrounded by the likes of Jenny Holzer, Barbara Kruger, Nick Cave, Diane Arbus, Willem De Kooning, Yayoi Kusama, Man Ray, Louise Bourgeois, and many other treasures! We just had our opening celebration for the upcoming season, and the reaction to the curation and collection was nothing short of awestruck.

It was also just Miami Art Week/Art Basel. Due to my busy work schedule, I was headed down to Miami Beach just for a day to photograph The Betsy Hotel’s events.

I am constantly intrigued by The Betsy’s cultural programming. Thank goodness for their contribution to the Miami Beach scene, as it remains a hub for ideas, creativity, and intellectual discourse (like that of a Parisian artist salon).

There, I had the pleasure of engaging in the art of conversation with Nigerian artist Iké Udé, a self-described sartorial anarchist.

Though I didn’t have much time to make it to the fairs, I did make sure to view Argentinian Artist, Leandro Erlich’s installation “Order of Importance.” He created 66 life-size sculptures in the sand! Mesmerizing! It resembles a quintessential Miami traffic jam and confronts climate change.

Exploring Berlin On Foot

I love Berlin’s combination of urban design and a timeworn ambience.

My favorite place I ate during my Germany trip was Cafe’ Datscha. I had the “Black Sea” breakfast, which was pickled salmon, king prawn, trout mousse, cream cheese, hash brown, scrambled egg, avocado, and blintschiki. I can’t even describe how tasty and refreshing this dish was.

The architecture! So much to take in.

Turkish Market

I was thrilled to visit the legendary Turkish Market in the heart of Berlin (Kreuzberg, lining both sides of Maybachufer Strasse, alongside the Landwehrkanal) while in Germany.

There were gobs of vendors selling just about every type of fare you could picture: spices, street food with warm sauces and cheeses, fresh veggies and fragrant breads, to name a few.

Of course, I had to stop for an authentic Turkish coffee to impress my ancestors. That stuff is no joke!

This guy knows what’s up. Glad to have made a friend.

Community markets seem to provoke a sense of belonging for me, which is why I find the experience so special. Everyone is offering something distinct in order to nourish in one way or another.

Anarchy in the EU

This colorful building is my most favorite in Berlin! Located on Kreutzigerstrasse in Friedrichshain, the former squat is now a community project that brings edgy joy to its passerbys :). There wasn’t much light that day, unfortunately, but the shadowy tones accurately reflect the mood.

Punk is surely alive and well in Berlin! One of the city’s most seductive qualities is its endless display of street art.

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